In case you are a new reader, I received a speeding citation back in February. You can read about it here:

http://a0001718.blogspot.com/2008/02/this-past-saturday-i-was-en-route-to-my.html

and here:

http://a0001718.blogspot.com/2008/02/quick-update-plot-thickens-so-i-called.html

I was on "deferred disposition" for 90 days, which is sort of like probation. Don't get any other tickets for 90 days, and the original ticket magically disappears from existence. I knew the 90 days anniversary had come, so it was time to go turn in my documents, and get the case closed. I knew the 90 days date was June 3rd, because I remember the lady writing it on my paperwork. Since the office I have to take the paperwork to is across town, and I do my daily commuting on my motorbike, I decided to wait until a rainy day when I would already be in my truck, or at least until a day when I would be going to that side of town anyway. My brother and I have a system of taking each other to lunch on or around our respective birthdays, so this would provide a good opportunity to do the paperwork at the same time. Perfect. Also, by freak luck, it was supposed to rain that day. Three birds with one stone? Perhaps.

So a couple of days prior, I pull out the paperwork, which I had stored in my truck so I couldn't lose it, to make sure there is nothing I need to bring with me or to make sure I sign anything that needs signage. I read the verbiage carefully and notice one key phrase in a sentence in the middle of a paragraph.

"You must appear on the above stated date".

Uh oh! June 3rd. Damn it. It was the afternoon of the 6Th. Son of a whore! Mother bitches! I read the document a few more times to make sure I understood, and it had this same phrasing not once, but twice on the page. It went on to say that if you fail to appear on the date shown, that the citation will then count as a conviction on your driving record, and the fee will be 'receipted', whatever that means. Holy assfuck! Now what the H E double hockey sticks am I gunna do?!

I figure since it is Friday and I already missed the date, that I was just fucked, so waiting a few more days wouldn't hurt. I seemed to recall seeing that phrasing worded differently on the same type of paperwork, so I felt confused. I had been on deferred disposition once before in another county for speeding several years ago, and I know that it was a 'any time after 90 days' kind of deal, so I guess I just assumed that was the way it worked. I guess assuming in this case was a bad plan. I dig some digging as I had before I turned in the paperwork and found a very similar looking document on their web page, with one slight difference. The paperwork on the website said "after 90 days" rather than the must appear on the date jargon from the paperwork they gave me. Shit.

So I spent Friday through Tuesday worrying about how to deal with the scenario. I was going by what had stuck in my head because of what the website said, rather then what was on the document they gave me. I went through all the various excuses in my head over and over again. I can get a little obsessive about planning ahead in scenario such as this. By Sunday night, I had just arrived at the conclusion that it was retarded to worry, because whatever was going to happen would happen, and I couldn't possibly deal with it until that time. Still, doesn't hurt to have a few catch phrases prepared. I figured that I would just hand it to them and see what they say. If they ask why I didn't come on that day, I would just explain that their website had conflicting data, and that they should fix it, and if they still were going to be dicks about it, I would deal with that when the time comes.

Then when Tuesday rolled around, and is grew closer to time to go do it, I just got this overwhelming doom feeling. I was feeling like some sort of criminal for not going on the right day. But, this was just a traffic ticket, it was harmless. Worst case scenario, it goes in the books as a conviction for 15 miles an hour over the limit. Big deal. I don't speed very much, and I have only gotten one other speeding citation in my adult life, so this was nothing.

I went to lunch with my brother and told him my story about the ticket, and asked his opinion. I showed him the paperwork. His opinion was that the paperwork was quite clear in saying it had to be THE day, and that the paper work they gave me, should trump anything on the website. He was probably right. Damn it all down to hell!

So I go over to the office after lunch. My stomach was turning and it was full of barbecue, and I had to take huge crap, so that didn't help matters any. I approach the window. The lady notices me there and asks if I need any help. I tell her I need to turn in my deferred paperwork. She takes my papers and flips through them a few times, then walks away. Now my heart starts beating quickly, and I feel like I am just about to freak the fuck out. She comes back a few seconds later with a red folder, and open it up. She asks me if I had gotten any more tickets within the 90 days, and I say no. She says OK, and asks me to sign one line on the page. I do. She says OK.

...

Silence. Silence that seemed to be 3, maybe 4 hours long. It was really about 2 seconds.

...

I finally say "Is that it?". She says "Yup, that's it." OK. cool. I turn around and walk out. And it was over.

This is where I should be happy and relieved, and on some levels I was, but on others, not. Sure I was glad that whole thing was over and done. But I was unhappy that I had spent so many days and night worried about the stupid thing. It would have been better to just say fuck it, and just chill until there was something to unchill about. It seems like a better way to live would be to cast aside any negative feelings, and just go with the flow. In this particular scenario, I should have put no thought into it at all, until I handed the lady the paper, and she asked why I didn't show up on the day I was supposed to. In my line of work, that's kind of my bread and butter. I deal with servers, and until a server breaks, you just chill. Then when something breaks, and hundreds if not thousands of people cannot function, and the pressure is, then you break out your bad self, and its go time. I am good at what I do, having to do so under extreme pressure, and I see no reason at all why I could not apply that technique to other facets on my life. So, from here on out, that is what I intend to do. I also encourage everyone else to make an attempt to be more laid back, and let life happen, and then kick in your mojo when the situation calls for it.

"Let's go to fucking Hawaii and get drunk in the sun; I wanna lie on Waikiki, and get a terrible burn."

~The Young Canadians.