Well, its Football time again. The first game of the pre-season, the 'hall of fame game', is this Sunday. Wow, time flies. Football time is one of my favorite times of the year. Although it starts in the dead of Summer, to me in indicates that Fall is at hand. Along with football means buying my yearly tickets to the Thankgiving day Dallas Cowboys game, which is ALWAYS a fiasco. You can read more about it here: http://a0001718.blogspot.com/2007/03/every-year-i-go-to-thanksgiving-day.html.

So this year I figured I would try a new approach. I will buy shitloads of tickets, and sell them for more than I paid for them, and use the proceeds to buy a pair for myself. I figure this way I can put up a little starting capital from my own pocket, and end up buying a lot better tickets for the same price, or maybe even free if I play my cards right.

In the past I have thought about just buying season tickets, and selling all the tickets except for the pair on Thanksgiving, but it just so expensive. While I am on this subject, let me show you something that will almost certainly piss you off and perhaps even make you want something bad to happen to good people. Observe:

http://www.dallascowboys.com/tickets/ClubPricingMap.pdf

WHAT IN THE HOLY FUCK? YOU HAVE TO GOD DAMNED BE SHITTING ME RIGHT OUT OF YOUR HUMAN ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To sit anywhere in the new facility anywhere near the field where you can see the game properly, you have to fork over a MINIMUM of $32,000.00, just for the OPTION to buy a pair of fucking tickets. And then, as if that was not insulting enough to Cowboys fans, you then have to buy the mother fuckin' tickets themselves! And, on top of that huge fucking pile of shattastic fecal matter, you still have to pay even more for parking!

Also, in case your are sorta blind or just stupid, to sit in the _really_ good seats in the middle sections, YOU HAVE TO PAY $300,000.00, JUST FOR THE OPTION to buy the tickets, which are then another $6,800.00, plus parking on top of that. By the way, did I mention the sales tax on this shit would be nearly another 30 grand? BITCHES!

Ok, well, fuck that. Fuck Jerry Jones, and fuck the Cowboys. I'll just sit in the shitty seats....

http://www.dallascowboys.com/tickets/ReservedPricesWLoge.pdf

DOH!, foiled again! The option to buy a pair of tickets IN THE SHITTY SEATS ranges anywhere from $4,000.00 up to $12,000.00, and then the tickets are another $790.00 to $1,250.00.

So, then there is the option of sitting in the no seat option $59.00 ticket section, where you will not be able to see anything, except Jerry's fantastic glorified Jumbotron, which is 200 feet long. Oh, but those are usually all sold to season ticket holders as well. Most of these 'season ticket holders' are really ticket resellers, that charge you a minimum of twice face value, but usually closer to 3x or 4x face value.

I am not a religious person, and I don't believe in heaven or hell in any conventional sense, but I do believe in something similar to karma, and I would hate to be anyone involved with the Cowboys organization as a whole, because they've certainly got some bad shit headed in their general direction. What in the fuck are these people thinking? Believe me, I am all for supply and demand, but you'd think there would be a line indicating poor class and taste, not to mention unethical and immoral practices by such an entity. I guess greed and the almighty dollar rule the world, and that's just sad.

So, back to the matter at hand. I went on a bidding spree in eBay and have purchased 14 pairs of tickets so far. I am paying an average so far of $83.00 per ticket (total, factoring in shipping and everything), which is only $33 per ticket over face value, not counting tax and fees, and all the other junk they usually add. I believe I will be able to collect around $130.00 per ticket upon resell, for a profit of $47.00 per ticket, which will get dragged down to probably $40 after eBay fees, PayPal fees, and all these other bullshit fees that seem to appear. If I sell all 14 at that rate, I will make $560, profit, which will get me pretty nice seats to the Thanksgiving game. Also, if I can sell the entire batch for that much, I likely will buy another batch of 14, and try it again, and pocket that 560 bucks for more stock options, or for vacation fun.

So there you have it. Next time you see Jerry Jones at the K-mart buying a new enema bag, make sure and tweak his nipples, its only fair since he is already fucking you in your ass.

SCHIZO!