What the fuck is up with food?

So, hundreds and thousands of years ago, people walked around just picking up various things and eating them. I am sure some of those people died. Some didn't. Can you imagine being that one lucky guy who happened to pull on a little clump of green shit, and there was a strange phallic bright orange attachment to the green part. So then, naturally, you think hey, I think the best thing to do in this scenario right here might be to just go ahead and put this in my mouth, chew it up, and swallow it, just to see what happens. Can you imagine being the first carrot eater? Okay, so maybe he watched an animal do it first, but still, he had the gonards to try it himself... would you?

It would seem evident, that no one walks around doing this type of thing anymore. In our modern, overprotective, nerf covered, safety latch, child proof, don't touch this, don't touch that, bullshit microwave oven world, we are trained from birth to not pick things up and put them in our mouths. We have to be instructed not to do this! What is the absolute first thing a small child does when it grabs something.... BOOM! straight into the mouth. Perhaps this is by design. I suppose in the distant past, no one told people this as children, so they duplicated this behavior as adults. If they hadn't grown up doing this, there is simply no telling what would have happened to mankind.

So that brings us to now. I want you to think good and hard on this one. When is the last time you saw anything new in terms of food? I would be willing to bet that you can't think of ANY new food discovery in your lifetime, and potentially not any in even your parents lifetime. I am not talking about some guy putting barbecue on a pancake and giving it some bullshit name, or some lady deciding to mushed up squid parts in a taco, or even about a scientist inventing a synthetic chocolate like flavor for gum. I am talking about something truly new, and not another iteration of something we already had.

What am I trying to say here? I don't know. Maybe we should start eating things. Think about it.