Yeah, yeah, I know.

Summertime approaches!

The average American life expectancy is approximately 77 years. This mean you will have 77 summers. You probably cannot comprehend and therefore enjoy a summer prior to age 5. Once you start school, summers mean more, and I don't recall feeling that way before entering school at age 5. Summers also do not harbor as many possibilities once you are elderly, so let's say age 64, because at 65 you are just old. You might still like the summertime when you are older, but you probably like all the other seasons as well, and let's face it, when you are 64, you are less likely to take advantage of what a summer has to offer. So between being a small child and an elderly person, that is 18 summers that are wasted. So that leaves 59 good summers to cash in on. Now, you will have to apply the math to your own situation, but I am now 35 years old. This will be my 35th summer. So, out of the 59 good ones, I have already used up 30 of them! That means I only have somewhere in the neighborhood of 29 summers left. TWENTY FUCKING NINE! 29 dollars isn't all that much money, 29 minutes isn't very long, and 29 summers is not a whole lot.

I enjoyed David Lee Roth when he was with Van Halen, and some of his solo work, and I always found his enthusiasm motivational. The man has moxie and mojo. For a brief stint, he took over the morning radio slot when Howard Stern went to satellite radio. His show was not all that great because the execs at CBS made him suck, but I did find one thing particularly fascinating. Whenever David Lee Roth would refers to years passing by, he always referred to them as "summers". He would not say he spent 10 years with Van Halen in the 70s and 80s, he would say he spent 10 summers with those guys. At the time, I kinda brushed it off as just a little strange, but suddenly, I think I understand what he means. Summers are important, and few, and it would seem that a lot of classic memories are created during the summer. You don't sit around with your best buds and think back fondly about the time you all sat around the fireplace, because there was 2 feet of snow outside... you reminisce about the time you drank 40 beers on the river and got a wicked sun burn, and some jack ass caught his shoes on fire, or bit into a freshly dead catfish.

So what am I trying to say? I want everyone to maximize their summer potential. Take stock of your life, and realize that you may not have all that many summers left, so make this one count. You should strive to make this summer the best summer ever. Attempt to make all future summers pale in comparison to this one. Set the bar high. I am not saying you need to 'get the band back together' a la mid life crisis movie and go on a cross country road trip in a convertible, nor am I saying you should embark on a Seinfeldian "Summer of George" type of deal either. I am simply saying that should an opportunity arise, capitalize on it, and in between those opportunities, create your own adventure, and for fuck's sake, leave your house and go somewhere. When the summer is over, and it starts getting to be fall again, you should be able look back and say "Wow, what a fucking summer!"

So go get a pencil and start jotting down all the ways you are not going to suck and waste this summer. If you don't have a pencil, or think you don't have time to relax and enjoy the summer, go kill yourself.

Wow, fuckin forgot to pay attention for like 3 weeks or so.

So, how many shirts you got? Think about how many shirts are in your closet right now. OK, so, how many shirts do you really need? If I had to guess sight unseen, I would wager that I have probably 75 shirts in my closet, and even that might be on the conservative side. How many do I need? Considerably less.

I believe in wearing the same shit over and over again. I have a certain set of shirts that I consider to be my "work uniform", and I rotate the order week to week. What would be the point of having a fuck ton of clothes? If you pay attention, you would probably notice repeats in other people's shirts as well. Everyone has a finite amount of shirts, so its inevitable.

I suppose outside of work, I am a little more diverse. I can always wear my "work shirts" to something other than work, and on occasion, I do so. But more to my liking, is my standard set of t-shirts. I wear these while lounging around the house, or going to play hockey or whatever. I have about 30 Metallica shirts, so those are always in heavy rotation, and I suppose that has become sort of a trademark of mine. People mention the fact that I "always wear a Metallica shirt". Then, I have a few other t-shirts for occasions where Metallica is not necessarily applicable. They are a kooky variety of things. I have one shirt that has a picture of a football, but says "Baseball" under it. I have an All Valley Karate Champion ship '84 Cobra Kai shirt, which is awesome, I have a couple of Harley Davidson shirts, etc.. It is an eclectic mix.

This does not really mean anything, and I am not going anywhere specific, it is just something I started thinking about the other day and it intrigued me. Think about your shirt count, your rotation, and perhaps take note of other people's rotation at work. Good times.

Oh, also, I got a jury summons. Its all electronical now. You fill out the questionnaire on line, then after 5pm on the business day prior to your summons date, you go to their website and enter your "e-juror" code, and it tells you if you have to show up to the court house the next day or not. I always dreaded the old jury summons thing, but last time I got one, I said fuck it, let's have some fun with it, it will be an interesting look into the court system, so I went, prepared to be sequestered for months in some sort of highly sensational murder type deal, and instead, I got nothing. I sat in a room full of people for 2 or 3 hours, and behind the scenes, the DA was trying to get some poor sap to take a deal. The perp finally signed the paperwork, and we were all released. Fail. So, hopefully this time I will get to be on a jury. That would be keen.