So, it was bit hot out today. I decide to go ahead and catch a quick breeze while I make my gentle drive through the horse farm area on my way home. All of maybe 3 seconds later, a fucking bee flies in my helmet at about 45 miles an hour, stings me below and to the left of my left eye, and gets trapped in my fucking helmet!

At first I didn't feel it, then I started thinking about how if something flew in, it couldn't possibly have gotten out. So I glance over in my rear view mirror, and I see what appears to be a little bloody spot or something, and a few inches away is the bee. So I start flailing wildly about my head trying to get it out, never thinking about what an awesome idea it would be to stop, or even slow down a little. I check maybe 15 seconds later in the mirror, and the bug is gone, but the spot is still there. I kind of shrug it off until it starts providing some pulsating pain. At that point I realized what happened and figured there was nothing I could do about it, so I kept cruising. When I came to a stop sign, I took another look, closer this time, and realized what I thought was a bloody spot was actually the damn stinger hanging out of my fuckin face! By this time it had injected enough poisonous material to make my face puffy and discolored.

Fortunately, I am not allergic to stings, or I would have been a goner for sure, I was more or less in the middle of nowhere. I am not sure how long anaphylaxis takes to screw someone over, but it would have been at least 5-10 minutes before I was anywhere that I could likely get any sort of help.

Anyhoo, so now I have a big purpley swollen patch on my face, which, although I am sure adds character, I would gladly trade in exchange for not having one. So what have we learned today?

1. Leave your visor up. Bee stings don't hurt unless you are a pussy. Plus, chicks dig scars.
2. Well, I guess there was just that one.