It is my firm belief that the economy in general is starting to turn back around, or at the very least, people are learning to adapt to the new conditions, making it not seem quite as bad.
As Americans, we are quick to be desensitized to things, thanks in part, to the media. When all you hear every day on the news is how shitty the economy is, and how the "housing bubble" has burst, and bad times are in store for everyone, you begin to worry somewhat. Then after several weeks of it being the top story in every media outlet, it becomes old news, and you start to not care about it at all.


First there was the housing bubble, then banks started to dive, then the stock market reacted and took a shit, and all the while, gas prices were climbing at an alarming rate. It is a never ending cycle. Anyway, my point is that these are uncertain times. No, the world is not coming apart at the seams, and no, all hell is not going to break loose any time soon. When I refer to uncertain times, I refer to American sentiment towards itself essentially.

As the media begins to scare people about the next thing that is likely to kill you or cause you some sort of inconvenience, I think this is a good time to make sure that you are "protected" for lack of a better term.

You have probably read my past articles about having your paperwork squared away in case you get killed or die suddenly, and I also did one about buying a few choice weapons, just in case there is civil unrest, but today we are focusing on food. It might be a swell idea to get your pantry in order. Yeah, yeah, I know, that's quite a leap from media fear mongering to organizing your pantry, but somehow in my head, one lead to the other, so deal with it.

I have been meaning to square away a well stocked and organized pantry for a few weeks now, but when I heard the media trying to scare people into thinking there is going to be some sort of martial law food rationing scenario, I figured this would be a good time to make it happen.
In case you have not been keeping score, the latest media blitz seems to be focused on the magical "rice shortage" and subsequent "rationing". First of all, there is no rice shortage. The earth contains plenty of rice. So Joe Blow, sitting at home on his couch picking his ass, watching the news, hears about the world wide rice woes, and suddenly decides he better get in while he can, and buys 300 pounds of rice. For fuck's sake, tomorrow rice may no longer exist. Sure, he didn't seem to want any rice yesterday, but now he needs a shitload of it in case it goes away forever.

I eat rice regularly. I love it. So, when I started thinking about Joe Dipshit chillin' out watching "Two and a Half Men", and suddenly deciding he needs 300 pounds of Basmati goodness, I started thinking about my rice scenario. If all these doucheweeds go buy up all the rice from my local supermarket because FOX4 scared them, then it affects me negatively. So I go check out my pantry and discover that finding all my rice is difficult because the pantry is in such disarray. Time to defrag!

I would be willing to bet that at least 85% of the population in the USA is unhappy with their current pantry setup. I would also be willing to bet that it is pretty low on the priority list. and I know for a fact, that a well organized and defragmented pantry can increase overall kitchen productivity, and who knows, maybe even lead to a better sense of well being.

So this past Friday evening I took every single item out from my pantry. I then threw away all the crap that was out of date. I was running maybe 8-10% foodstuffs that were out of spec. I had a few items that were 10 years old! I also discovered empty boxes taking up space, items like an old coffee maker that was broken, a blender that I haven't had the bucket part for in over 5 years, and various large empty containers. Why did I have all this stuff? No idea.

I failed to take a picture of how the pantry looked before I started taking things out. I didn't even think about it being picture worthy until I had only two shelves cleaned, and realized how much junk I had laying out on the kitchen counters. Here is how the pantry looked after 2 shelves cleaned.




And here is a few shots of all the junk that was on those shelves.






Next we have a shot of the pantry after full removal.




So I was shocked to discover that after putting everything back in, that I only needed maybe 35% of the space. I suppose I could have tried to put everything on a single shelf, but it seemed to be better logistically to have everything separated out, so I made a section for medicines, a section for drinks, etc...

Here are a few shots of the stuff back in the pantry. As you can see, I have an abundance of free space now.




So defragging the pantry made me realize a couple of things. 1 - I have plenty of free space for stuff in the pantry, and 2 - there is a lot of wasted space in the pantry. My plan for #1 is to fill some of the space with some emergency reserve food. This will consist of a few 5 gallon containers of dry staple foods. Rice, beans, corn, etc... and a couple of containers of clean backup usable water. For #2, I am going to make a trip to the container store to pickup a few organizational hardwares. A set of wire shelves to attach to the back of the pantry door, undershelf hanging containers, and a few tri-level shelves should maximize pantry potential without breaking the bank. From a quick look around Home Depot, it looks like these little things only cost a few bucks each, so no big deal there.


Everyone should take a few quick minutes to look at their pantry and ask themselves if they are happy with its current status. Most people won't be, but it literally only takes a few minutes to take care of it, half an hour at the most. If Joe Asshole would get off his couch and away from "How I Met your Mother" for a few minutes go look in the pantry, he might discover that he already has plenty of rice buried under his cup cakes and Twinkies.


*I will document the dry food storage activities when I begin getting that in order.

So what have we learned today?
1. The media sucks
2. There are a lot of crappy shows on TV
3. There is plenty of rice
4. Your pantry is retarded
5. Did we win the war daddy? What is Vietnam?

I cranked out my first loaf of sourdough today from my starter. It turned out just OK. It was just basic bread. If I was hungry, I would eat it. I will probably eat it anyway. I was a little confused as to the final process of making a quality product, but I assumed it would take a few experiments right out of the gate. Turns out I was right. My loaf, was too flat. It did rise properly, but I flattened it out, planning to let it rise again, but I sort of ran out of time. Next time, I will bake upon the first rise, when the leavening is at its peak. I may also add a bit of honey to the mix. I did not photograph the process, but I will try and remember to do so on subsequent loafage.

Ok, I converted all the light bulbs in my house to compact fluorescent bulbs. Also, I added a programmable thermostat, and programmed it to only be cool in the evenings while I am here enjoying the space. Any time that I am not at home, the house does not need to be as cool, so now it won't be. These two things, I believe, will save me quite a bit on money on electricity bills, which in turns helps me achieve my debt reduction goals.

On the topic of saving money, I made an attempt to go shopping at Sam's in an effort to bulk in bulk, and save money. It did not work out well at all. I found that almost everything I normally purchase at my normal grocer is either the same price, or in a majority of the cases more expensive. There were certainly things that were cheaper such as light bulbs, spray oil (Pam), kitty litter, rice, coffee, and a few other of my regular items, but I am not really sure that the price is good enough to offset the pain in the ass of going to there in the first place. I may schedule a trip there once a month for these few items, since it is between my work and my home, but I certainly will not return for normal groceries on my usual Saturday shopping adventure.

I also took a stab at using coupons. The problem.. no coupons for anything I buy, and it defeats the purpose to buy things I don't want or need simply because I have a coupon. After a couple of experiments, I have found the best way (at least in my scenario) to save money on the grocery bill is to buy my normal stuff, then when my normal stuff is on sale, buy more. Its that simple.

As part of my attempt to lower overall household costs, I also did an energy audit of some of the devices in my house. This was quite interesting. To do the testing, I used a P3 International "Kill A Watt" device, which you plug into the wall, then plug your item into it, and it measure how much electricity is being used. Here are a few of my findings:

My computer. We will say it is an average computer. To be honest, my computer is brand new and has the thinnest and least power consuming processor available. So you can add a little to the figures to work out your own shit if you'd like. In an average month, my computer costs $12.42 to run. Now, that is running 24/7 non stop. I have been in the IT field all my life, I can assure you that your computer hardware is MUCH better off running 24/7 than shutting it down each time you get done with it. Plus, I would have to turn mine on and off probably 25 times a day if I did that. Anyway, $12.4 a month.

My living room TV. It is on 12 hours a day, and off 12 hours a day. This costs me $12.18 a month. I leave the TV on a lot. Well, I did until I was done with my audit. Since I started the experiment to cut costs, it is only on for about 5 hours a day, only while I am actively watching it. It does still cost money to run the TV while it is "turned off" (by TV, I really mean the full entertainment system, including satellite receivers, tuner, etc..). At 12 hours per day turned off, it costs $1.85. so leaving it off more still costs money, but not near as much as while it is on.

My bedroom TV. This ones only on 2 hours per day. This comes out to $4.86 cents a month, only 80 cents of which is from the 2 hours it is on. Unplugging it from the wall when not in use is not realistic, so this really cannot be avoided.

Fish tank. This runs 24/7 as well, so the fish don't die. This tank is a really basic setup. Two power heads, a heater element, a light, which is rarely on, and a decent sized canister filter. The total for the month comes out to $2.58, but hey, fish are fun!

Refrigerator. Obviously runs 24/7. This costs $11.81 a month. Necessary evil. BUT! Here is the stupid part. The damn thing uses 175 watts average. This is about the same as a desktop computer. Now, when you open the door, it kicks up to 255 Watt, then when you open the other door, it kicks up to a whopping 335 watts!!!! Turns out, my refrigerator has a total of 4, 40 watt light bulbs in it. I could lower my cost per month by unscrewing a couple, or not leaving the door open as long. Right now, I am investigating LED bulbs to replace the standard incandescent ones.

These 5 items alone costs me $43.84 a month. My average electricity bill from April to May runs about $148. I cannot wait to see how much less it is this month with the new bulbs, thermostat, and turning shit off more. If it is not considerably less, then at least I can say I tried. If it is a substantial amount less, I shall preach the gospel of saving energy, and look for other ways of cutting back my consumption.

PUSSY!

I recently happened upon something that interests me quite a bit. I have thought about it several times in the past, but never really took action. Today that all changes.

I am talking, of course, about... SOURDOUGH!

Yes, sourdough. Have you ever really spent much time thinking about bread? Bread has literally been around for thousands of years, and It has sustained many people during that time. I would even wager that every single person on this earth has tasted bread at some point in their life. Its amazing how something so simple works, and how many people perhaps take the concept for granted.

The interesting part is how incredibly easy and magical it is. Perhaps the most complicated part of sourdough is the yeast. These magical little critters are responsible for leavening the bread, causing it to rise. How does this happen? Well, in a nutshell, the yeast eats sugar, and convert it into two by-products, carbon dioxide and alcohol. I make my own beer, so I am familiar with the process, and it can be quite complicated to explore. For the sake of this post, we are sticking to layman's terms, and focusing only on the carbon dioxide output, which of course, translates to bubbles, which is required for bread to rise.

So What kind and how much yeast do you need? The answer may surprise you. Who cares, and NONE. Absolutely none. What? Bullshit you say? Negative. All the yeast you need to already in the flour you use, and you can use any type of flour you want! You want whole wheat sourdough bread? Use whole wheat flour. You want plain white? Use plain white flour.

So maybe you are wondering how to get the yeast out of the flour? Simple, add water. That's right, you truly only need two things to make sourdough bread. Flour, and water. You could get the water from any source, and the same could be said for flour. If you had to fend for yourself and try to survive, bread would be one of the easiest things to produce, and could could keep you alive indefinitely. Indefinitely? Definitely!

To get your bread going, you need a "sourdough starter". To make this you simply combine equal parts water and flour of your choice. You cannot go wrong. I assume you are not cool enough to grow or find your own wheat, and grind it into flour yourselves (you could, easily, but that's another post), so go to any supermarket on the planet, and buy a bag of flour.

So take equal parts of the flour and water and stir, and put them into a container. What kind of container? Well, anything would do. I recommend a glass jar. Mix the two things together in a jar, and stick something on the jar that will allow it to breathe a little bit, and perhaps keep any crazy bugs out. If you don't have anything to use, just use your shirt.

Let this sit at room temperature for 24 hours, at which point you will likely see some kind of weird brown juice called the "hooch" in the jar. This is a good thing. Give it a stir, and then it is time to feed your starter. To feed the starter, you simply pour out half the contents of the jar, then add more flour and water mixed together. How much? just some. maybe about the same amount as the first time. It is that simple. Amazing, aint it? After you do this for several days, you will notice that the starter grows after you feed it, then settles back down. After several days of this, your starter will double or perhaps triple in volume at its peak approximately hours after feeding. Once you know for sure that it is at least doubling its volume at each feeding, it is done. Your starter is a success, and can be kept alive indefinitely. Its true; so long as you keep your starter fed, it will live forever. Once it is completely established, you can put it in the refrigerator for a week or more at a time, without feeding it. That, my friends, is INCREDIBLE! Think about it! A Perpetual food source, and if you played your cards right in the post apocalyptic world, it could be free to you, forever.

So, now that your starter is in perfect working condition, it is time to eat. So, take out your starter, which should be pretty good sized by now, and remove some. How much? depends on how much bread you want. Let's make one loaf. So, take maybe a cup of starter and a stick it in a bowl. Add a cup of water and stir. You can now add some sugar and salt if you like, maybe 4 teaspoons sugar and 2 teaspoons salt, or don't, it doesn't matter. Let it sit and froth for maybe an hour, then add about 3 cups of flour a little bit at a time, kneading it in slowly. Once the dough has a bread dough feel, let it sit for an hour, then punch it down a bit and form a basic loaf shape. Pop it in the oven at 350 degrees for maybe 30-45 minutes, then eat it.

That is really all there is to it. Now, this is a basic rundown, your mileage may vary, but you get the general idea. You will need to experiment a little in your own kitchen to get it like you like, but you can use the same concepts and ratios. I will post pictures periodically of my starter as she grows.

To me, taking two things that individually seem innocuous, and mixing them together, adding time, and being able to live off of it, forever, is mind blowing. If you are truly able to sit an ponder this for a few minutes, and not be amazed, then fuck off, and I'll see you in hell.

Via con huevos, amigo.

If you died tomorrow morning at 9:47am, What would happen to all your shit? Chances are you do not have a will. Most people don't. 60-75% of Americans die without one, and this percentage increases dramatically in people less than 45 years of age. If you die without a will, your stuff does not "automagically" get transferred to your spouse, like most people may think. If you die without a will, you are "intestate", and the State in which you live determines who gets your stuff. Each state has separate intestate succession laws. In Texas where I live, inestate succession is dependent on your status when you die.

If you are unmarried, your children get your crap. If you have no children, your parents get your crap. Then if that doesn't work, it goes to siblings, then after that it would go to grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. If you have no relatives living, all your worldly possessions will "escheat" to the State, and become their property.

If you ARE married, your spouse still does not magically get all your stuff. For example, if you have a living child that does not belong to the surviving spouse, then that child would inherit 50% of the community property, and the spouse would maintain their 50%.

Then there are rules for step-children, children born out of wedlock, etc... The laws are funky, confusing, and ALL OF IT COULD BE AVOIDED BY SIMPLY MAKING A WILL!

What would happen to your carcass if you died tomorrow. Do your loved ones know your wishes? Did you tell your wife, or son, or daughter that you want to be cremated, but perhaps your parents may think you want to be buried? It is a good plan to make it known what your wishes are in a legal document, so that there can be no dispute. A few minutes of paperwork now, could potentially save a family feud from breaking out after you are gone.

What about advanced directives? If you are a complete vegetable due to a car accident, and the doctor says you are in an persistent vegetative state with no chance of recovery, do you want to be kept that way? Does anyone know your opinion? Again, a couple of pieces of paper can save everyone you leave behind a lot of stress.

What about if you are not in a coma or some type of vegetation. What if you are unconscious, and bleeding from your asshole? Someone has to make medical decisions for you. Who would it be? Again folks, a couple of short forms, and all of this worry goes right out the door. A medical power of attorney form assigns a person to be in charge of making your medical decisions should you become unable to perform.

What does this all boil down to you ask? Well, what I have coined as a "Death Kit". Every person in America needs to take a little bit of time, and assemble all of these types of documents into a single packet, then place the packet into secure storage, and then instruct your family (or whoever) how to locate and activate the kit when necessary. The kit should contain a list of all friends and family who should be notified in the event of your death. Next, it should have a set of instructions as to what to do with your shell, now that you won't be needing it anymore. Personally, I recommend cremation. Come on, it's 2008, do we really need to be using up all this real estate by burying corpses? FUCK NO! There are well over 200,000,000 people in the United States. If we put all of them into a large wooden box and burying them, we are gunna run out of space for new Wal-Marts. Nextly, your death kit needs to have a list of all your pertinent account numbers and their respective institutions. Credit cards, bank accounts, etc.. This will help your family tremendously. More to the point, you need a list of all your assets, so they can be dealt with. The kit should also contain a family tree, if possible. This could help locate relatives if need be.

Essentially, you want someone to be able to pop open the packet, and process every thing that needs to be done post death by simply following a easy set of instructions. Imagine if everyone always had a death kit on hand. One person could process your entire estate in a matter of days. I am going to begin work on my kit in the next few days and weeks. I picked up a Nolo book on how to create legal wills without the use of an attorney. I am sure the attorneys in this world would fucking hate to hear that anyone is promoting such death kits, because it would take money out of their pockets. I say, they can take their high priced legal mumbo jumbo, and wipe their dick with it.

So, are you prepared? Is your family going to have stress and issues, and perhaps even feuding if you died tomorrow at 9:47am? ...probably, and that means you suck.

I think that a lot of people have some form of OCD. I am certainly not suggesting that everyone has to grab the refrigerator handle exactly 27 times before they open it, or count every single ceiling tile in their office before they sit down, or walk around their car counterclockwise twice before driving, but it is my belief that everyone has as least some level of obsessive and/or compulsive activity, whether they know or it not.

I have always had issues in relation to locks, particularly door locks. I remember that my mother seems to sort of have the exact same issue, so I assume to some extent it is learned or genetic. When I leave my house, for example, I get about 10 feet away from the door, and these obsessive thoughts enter my brain, that perhaps, I forgot to lock the door, or maybe the door did not shut all the way. Then, the obsession turns to compulsion, because I feel as if I must return and check the door one last time, before leaving. There have been times where I have gone all the way to work, and then felt like I had left the garage door open. I can't have anyone taking all my fancy shit, so I would drive all the way back home, only to find the garage door shut. In fact, I would go so far as to say that 98% of the time, the doors are shut all the way and locked properly, before I double check them. This has caused me grief before, particularly when leaving for a week long vacation. I obsess over the door being secure, but I am too far away from home to do anything about it, so the compulsion then hits, and it cannot be dealt with. This feeling usually subsides in a few hours, but during that few hours, my mind just rides on those thoughts over and over again. It is really bizarre.

This just happened to me the other day when I went to a gun show. I walked maybe 750 yards from the truck and then started thinking that I had not locked my truck. Then I thought about someone taking all my fancy truck shit. So I stepped inside the building, took a piss, then had to walk all the way back to my truck to lock the fucking door. Fortunately, I have a remote door lock, so I didn't have to go all the way back... just within range of the transmitter. Well, about 10 seconds after locking it and hearing that pleasant confirming honk, I realized that now my brain was filled with thoughts of whether or not the door was really locked or not, or had I made the journey back in vain. Those thoughts I was able to extinguish by knowing 100% that the truck was indeed locked.

I recently discovered another OCD type of phenomena that I experience. I borrowed a piece of computer hardware from a co-worker. I needed to test it out at home, to see if I wanted to buy it. Well, I ended up fucking around and keeping it for a good long while. Maybe a month. The guy did not mind at all, because he had a couple of spares anyway, but he asked me one day if I was still going to buy it, because he was rounding up some cash to buy something or other. It was Friday, and I told him I would work on making the decision by giving it a good long test run over the weekend and then Monday either bring back the device, or bring him the cash.

Well, I sort of forgot about it again, but when I remembered it finally, I realized that every single day since I had it, it would surface in my brain that I needed to act upon it. When I reflected back on other similar events, I realize that I have some sort of OCD issue with owing people something. Not just material possessions, but anything. I might owe someone information, or perhaps I am supposed to be somewhere at a certain time. I find myself sometimes having an indescribable feeling. I guess you could call it a form of anxiety, but it really kind of isn't. It is like my brain obsesses over what has to go where, and what I need to do, and sort of subconsciously goes over the list repeatedly on its own. Sometimes it is not even me owing someone something, but me owing myself a thought. For example, I will think about something, and try to file it mentally so I do not forget about it later. Even something as simple as remembering what I need to look up on Wikipedia. It goes into the brain list, and the problem compounds.

I seem to have learned in the past few years that if I start feeling like my brain cannot slow down because I am trying to do normal stuff, while it is constantly processing such a list, that I should stop what I am doing, and jot down a list of it all. This is not always easy because I am not always in a position to do such a thing. If I am laying bed, and I remember what I forgot about earlier, then I have to get up and deal with it, otherwise I will never get to sleep. Sure, a notepad and a pen by the bed would solve that problem, but I have to put getting these materials into the brain list, so we know how that goes 8-).

These are not things that really hinder my performance, just things that I know about myself that I find interesting. What are some of the things that you might do that could be considered obsessive or compulsive? Come on, don't lie to yourself, you know they are there. And if you really think you do not have any, then ask someone you live with, or a good friend, and you may be surprised to find out that they might know, when you don't even realize it.

...and knowing is half the battle. Thanks Snake Eyes!