Not a whole lot going on this week I guess. Still on the hunt for a new computer chair. The weather is starting to change over to "Spring like" conditions, so that will bring on lots of new topics.

I am starting to feel old. I mean, I know I am getting older, but recently, I am starting to feel different. It is hard to explain. Do you ever think REALLY hard about what life will be like in 20 years? Its easy to fantasize about living in a mansion, eating lobsters every day, and driving a flying car, but do you ever realistically think about the mundane day to day things. It seems like life is a series of various things, such as vacations, holidays, events, etc... I always look forward to vacation. When I go on vacation, I have a blast, and like everyone else, I feel shitty when I get back into the day to day grind of life. So I immediately start thinking about the next vacation, or the next holiday, or whatever.

I have always been the type to just kinda do whatever. I believe that people should enjoy themselves and do whatever they want, because you only get to ride once, but I just can't help but feel like I am missing something. I think a natural societal progression would deem that people get married and start a family. I have never been one to conform to what other people think should be happening, and I know TONS of people that have families that are completely miserable, and would give anything to not be in their respective scenarios, whether they can admit it or not. In other words, just because society pushes certain beliefs on you, it is not necessarily the answer. There is a whole lot of philosophical shit to get into on the subject of why humans exist, and what is the point of life itself, but that's for another day.

I kind of got into a rut where I do the things I do, and I truly enjoy them, but as I have gotten older, I have departed from a lot of the dynamic, spur of the moment, impulsive things that I used to enjoy. There is nothing stopping me from doing those type of things, and the only reason I can surmise for this is that I have gotten older. I may not be clearly describing the concept here. I am not talking about a set of things I no longer do, but just deciding suddenly to do this or that, then doing it. For example, deciding on a Friday at 5pm to go camping, having no plans to do so prior to that moment in time.

Also, I have the means to do these things on a grander scale then I did years ago. For example, when I was 20 years old, I might decide on a Friday at 5pm to go camping. Now days, I might decide to go camping on a Friday at 5pm, in the Grand Canyon, and I could, but I don't.

I don't know how to sum all this up. I think spring time might help out. Feeling old sucks. It's really not a downer or anything, and I am not trying to sound all negative, or depress anyone. I can just tell that things are different now, and it is strange.