I am taking one for the team. I am going to fly the dreaded Spirit Airlines to see if it really is as bad as 'they' say.

I will state for the record ahead of time that I am lean and mean when it comes to travel. I carry one small backpack. I have been doing this for several years now, even when I have visited other states and whatnot for 5+ days at a time. It is amazing how much shit you can cram into a small backpack if you take the time to do it right, and on the way back, who fucking cares, just jam all yer shit in there any which way.

Also, I get the airport with plenty of time to spare. I usually have to sit for one hour. I use the time to play games on my phone or tablet, or perhaps just people watch. You see the strangest shit at the airport afterall.

Another thing that makes me a good traveler is that right before I go into security, I pre-remove all my accoutrements and put them into said backpack. Watch, keys, wallet, lighter, belt, sunglasses, etc... I also remove my shoes as soon as I hand my ID and boarding pass to security. The result uis that when I hit the line, I don't have to do anything at all, just walk through essentially.

Nextly, I have my boarding pas in my hand ready to scan when it is time. When they call my group, I go, no pussyfotting around. All the while, I am being courteous and considerate of all other passengers, because they are really huge assholes, it serves me best to just get out of their way.

Once on the plane, I turn off all my shit, cram my backpack under the seat, NO OVERHEAD COMPARTMENT usage. I am on the plane and in my chair inless than a minute. I also pre-shit or pre-piss if neccessary becasue no one like the fat prick who has to dump off his chicken wings on the airplane. Please shit head, do this BEFORE you get on. Also, if you want a snack or a drink, BRING YER FUCKING OWN! I have found this to be the best policy.

Ok, so back to Spirit Airlines, people always bitch and complain about the seats not reclining, boo fucking hoo. Who do you think you are, the King of Siam? It is a priveledge to fly, so shut your pie hole fatty. They charge you for a drink or food. Again, boo fucking hoo. There are not many places on this planet, where food and drink are FREE. Next up, leg room. Ok shit for brains, the goal here is to get to your destination at 500+ miles an hour. If you don't like the leg room, travel 50 miles an hour on a greyhound, and I'll laugh at your from 35,000 feet on my way back from my luxury vacation. Quit your yapping, and/or if you don't like it, pay the extra fee to sit up front. It's Spirit, it will still be leagues cheaper than the competitor.

So there you have it, I think I am the perfect candidaet for Spirit Airlines. I firmly believe that I am what they had in mind when they deisgned their business model. I don't expect or need anything from them, other than the ability go 500 miles an hour at 35,000 feet. And since that is all the provide, its a match made in heaven. Oh also, they are the only fucking airline that goes directly to Atlantic City.

I'll produce a full report after my return.

Ya know, most people save money all their lives in the bank, in a 401k, and so on, so that they can afford to retire. So in other words, when I am 67 years old I am supposed to have enough money to relax sit back, and enjoy... uh... wait a minute, honestly, what the FUCK am I going to enjoy at 67 years old? Chances are the things I will enjoy when I am that age will be things that are likely simple and inexpensive, like a quality toilet seat or a real nice water hose. On the flip side, the things I enjoy now are moving really fast, going vertical, hangovers, habaneros, taking chances, unknown spaces, the list is endless.

The average life expectancy in the United States is currently roughly 78 years. I can only imagine in the last 5 years of that span you are not going to be able to get around very well. So let's say your are essentially in twilight at age 73. Now correct me if I am wrong, but that means you have about 6 good years, when you are in your late 60s to early 70s to enjoy yourself! NO THANKS!

Wouldn't a better plan be to save enough throughout life to get by when you need to but can't get around well, and shave enough off now to enjoy things while you can? Do you really want to try and explore the world at an advanced age? I didn't think so.

Now, you may be sitting there thinking it is a risk to do such a thing, but let's analyze. Isn't is more of a risk to collect a million bucks but chance being 70 and not be able to spend it in a proper fashion? Or even worse, save 500,000 bucks by age 59 and be killed buy a wayward dolphin or choke to death on a gummy bear? What is the point of this? Live in the now.